Guidance for Transitions

The below is about planting a seed, I accept that it is likely it will not fall on fertile ground.

Morality is how we relate to the people we know, your family, your friends, your neighbours … ethics on the other hand is the true foundation of how we create a society … when we impose someone’s individual morality onto society, when someone projects their subjective personal beliefs onto a society, especially about something they know little or nothing about, it is about their ego, to make them selves feel superior, essentially self-aggrandisement … in doing so little by little we destroy society itself .. for the whole act of blame is about separation … about separating one person from another – for we must remember that condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

True love does not judge, nor does it have any expectations, it does not to say to someone, become this person and I will love you … or the corollary, if you change from this person; I won’t love you – but that is more of a Cathexis, a definition of surface or perhaps only conditional love.

How do we find a conscious love without distortions in it? Through knowledge and acceptance of self, and solitude … meditation. Without these, love gets mutated and distorted by the surface of life. If there is knowledge, acceptance and meditation, love evolves into devotion; it remains pure and then evolves into bliss, joy.

Disrespecting someone, judgement and ascribing fault, is used by the ego to separate us, like control, judgement, anger, competing, worry, guilt, conformity are all other non-present emotional ‘ego’ driven thoughts – like all fears when faced reveal their illusion and in doing so we find ourselves and our strengths.

Everyone has their gifts, everyone, and each one is equally valid gift from the Universe.

Everything that happens is essentially without expression, it is only in our beliefs where we ascribe a meaning, a duality to it, a right or wrong, good or bad etc., when beliefs become primary, it manifests through its own brand of particularism into a cult, there are cults everywhere from the private to even Public companies say Apple Inc and Tesla … all within are true believers, their lives are defined through the duality of their ideology, for instance Capitalism is the quintessential expression of duality (I.e profit / loss is good/bad) – within families, all experiences seems to be either good or bad, right or wrong, family or not – this evolves into a fear based “them and us mentality” a dismissal and disrespect for all that appears on the surface to be different.

There are really good and wonderful people in the world, the thing that separates us is awareness that they exist and our beliefs – no one has the right to define themselves as right and others wrong … for the majority of humanity, it is easier to judge than to think. To judge is to label & negate others and so dismiss (without revisiting) – true humanity and strengths is to feel with empathy, compassion and equanimity.

I cannot ascribe fault anymore for it leads to separation, in the higher self there are no certainties, things can only be viewed through probabilities.. for instance it is highly probable that the sun will rise tomorrow – the reality is that nothing is certain, change is continuous and everything ends, well not so much ends, for we are always in transition to ?

Happiness comes only in true Freedom, it comes from within, not from people things or circumstances – follow your personal bliss, challenges that will come are how we grow and we use them to break through the shells that encompass our understanding.

We see everything through the present moment, the past, is our personal perspective of our experiences (filtered through our beliefs and values) … The future is our expectations, our wishes … but this present moment is our only personal reality … these are the Buddha’s words, along with many spiritual leaders (including Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and others)

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help” – Thích Nhất Hanh

With union with the light, a spiritual realisation occurs – then it is the individual’s choice to integrate with the Higher self or not – for me it was a no-brainer … once you decide to integrate, The Grace of “God, the Universe, Brahmin, the Source – the higher self (call her what you will) starts to descend to us (over time) you gradually detach from the physical world, much of what you once valued in duality seems empty and illusionary because it is, your love becomes abundant, unconditional and conscious, you can feel life, every form of life within you from the greatest to the least – there is now only one choice, which is to love, to understand, to have compassion for all life, whatever its form.

Here is a book, the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma that helped me understand my personal journey to the light – perhaps it might help others on their journey, you can download an epub version – here

A difficult revelation of conditional “love” is the judgement, perhaps dis-respect , contempt or worse. Perhaps no one at home wrote in a simple act of compassion or empathy to think beyond themselves and their attachments and ask how you were … for me, I guess that is the true expression of the experience – their own brand of particularism.

It’s a given, that no one has the right to be purposefully cruel for any reason.

If you have many obstacles in your path … consider, perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you something –

“As a man himself sows, so he himself reaps; no man inherits the good or evil act of another man. The fruit is of the same quality as the action” – Mahabharata, xii.291.22

We are all accountable for our choices, as I have learnt personally – do not blame those you who hurt you, for they are only instruments of Karma – Karma holds us all accountable for our behaviour in particular our actions towards others – how she will choose to balance the scales for their actions towards you and other life forms, is not for you or others to speculate how this will be done.

I can feel only love and compassion for you all, if any truly wish non-judgemental spiritual help, then come find me … and we will work towards the light together, if your not up for that, no problem, find another, for when it is your turn you will journey to the light in this life or another, it is a journey we will all make. By staying attached to the illusions of this world, once can never be truly happy, because in being attached we are never truly free – and true happiness comes in freedom.

After a four year journey- I am done, you are on your own, except of course for the infinite love and power of the Universe that is within each of you, but as a last act, I am going to project my beliefs and say – I was chosen, like you … your perception was that I was the problem however I believe I was a solution – fear itself is the problem.

I am thinking of you all as I write these words … face your fears … they are paper tigers … empty illusions. Judgment and blame separates us … the desire to control others comes from ego and fear – controlling others controls you – instead stay present, be mindful and accept and flow … there is no way around pain or fear, the only way out is through.

Open your heart to those in need, do not make assumptions. You are not a judge, you are a coach, and in the future you may just be the guide that makes all the difference to someone else’s life.

There are only two main motivators in life, love and fear. Choose wisely!

October, 2015

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Connecting the Dots

I was thinking about Steve Jobs the other day and a quote of his came to my mind … it went like this

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward”

He is so right, many months ago, it was as if I was in a dark room, feeling my way forward, but I kept falling over stuff, the future that I had invested in was always out of reach … my brother did what only brothers can, and asked me to look at the dark room again, but differently this time.

I went into a familiar process that I had first completed some 20 years ago, it requires only commitment and absolute honestly – it is essential that we face our demons, for until we do, we project them onto the world, through our reactive unconscious acts, hurting those we love, and who love us … since this time, the second process has been completed (such that it can be or ever is), the fiction that fears are real was revealed and you move past them .. you are at a new plateau, just, so long as we stay aware and keep owning your weaknesses.

When one is within the darkness, one can only feel the pain, for that part of us has no way of communication through language … it takes time, it take commitment and courage .. we have to honour all those who go through the any recovery process.

It is wonderful  to feel  your family’s love, but what they cannot do is facilitate or enable you – they will withdraw from you –  to support you how they feel they can … it is as if they take you down to the dock for a long sea voyage … you can still feel their love .. but this is a journey we must take alone, in hindsight, part of connecting the dots, you learn lots of things about yourself, at the end, you accept and value yourself,  you make friends with yourself and also with your ego, to understand it better .. you learn that there is no pain when we are present, for then the ego has no place to hide – you take what you have learnt and over a period of months you let go of the past and bring only the learning into your life – Staying present develops further into acceptance of what is and the letting go of expectations, then one day and every day after, you are just grateful – you feel balanced and stronger, but most of all you are free. Frankly being truly free is a bit scary, but you try new things, people engage and you are on your way.  Suddenly if one must label one things, most of the time you are mindful – you bring a huge focus into your present, and you are careful of where you walk so you don’t tread on insects, you spend hours down by the beach, or in the woods, noticing every aspect of the web of life, the trees, the grass, the birds, the life abundance – it is as if you expand like a wave outwards into the world … it is intoxicating and yet so much more.

In this moment, I am content, life is interesting and productive –  you don’t judge, you love, you understand the behaviour of others, you feel real compassion and kindness for what they are going through, insights come, and it is good to engage and help others .. but the real outcome is that you know who you are, you need no one’s approval for you have your own, you engage more with the community and surprisingly you are detached even from your  own future ….   you flow with life as it comes into your present … you can still feel those you love, but it is as if you are travelling parallel paths, you wonder, will these paths ever converge?  I hope so, but I don’t know, for it is an event in the future, I can only know and engage with what life does bring, not what it might bring, but I know whatever happens, whatever path I walk, I am not fearful, for it will lead to my destiny!  For now at least, that is enough!

So much has happened, but I feel I am an early point …. what a journey there must be yet to come ….. I’m am up for it

Where I am right now, I doubt I will be directly addressing this introspective aspect of me again, well anytime soon that is … for I guess the time for definitive’s on any subject is well and truly gone.

I have a new list of subjects for blog posts coming up .. thanks for reading and if any are within such an experience as this, know it will be different for you, but flow with it, honestly and with courage, you too will come through.  If you need a sounding board, contact me, whatever happens in your life, I wish you Good Luck !

Tags: Owning+our+weaknesses, Connecting+the+dots, Recovery

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