Empower your healing

From time to time, we have thoughts that take us away from being mindful, away from the present moment. such thoughts could be sad, they could be reflections on a past loss, reflection of why’s, on the motives behind events in our lives, a myriad of thoughts including fears of “what if this happens” – most, if not all are inconsequential to the present moment.

Now I know that it is part of life, to be uncertain of what may come, for it makes us aware of all possibilities prior to acting, but when these thoughts are just fears or they severely influence us, they have the effect of closing us down, that along with past concerns can turn us inwards towards a victim mentality, for me this new way of looking at my thoughts came from a desire that these thoughts were not empowering me, hence I needed to understand more and find a way to heal myself.

I tried this quite a while ago, it did work for me …

Each time I receive a thought that takes me to an event in the past that for instance once made me depressed or upset, or others about the future, which naturally come from an uncertainty or a fear I would thank the thought. I know may appear counter-intuitive to thank what appears to be a thought that is based on say a fear, a response from your ego, but stay with me on this.

When the thought arrives, say about a past relationship, I said to myself ..

• Thank you. I know you love me and you want to help, and in generating this, you think you are!
• But Thanks, but I am totally fine, I have this, I have learnt from the past, (or I have no fear of the future), I want to go back to the present and what is real, where I can choose to create my life.
• Again, thanks for your help, I love you, please go when you wish.

Or variations on this “conversation” over time, bring a lightness, openness and optimism to your inner chatter, and what we create within is reflected in our outer behaviours, our confidence and strength.

For me, the positive effect was that these non-present thoughts came less and less … this strategy has the real benefit by taking one out of the victims mentality, your thoughts become empowering and positive … you break through boundaries .. you heal.

If you wish to, try it … if I can help, let me know!

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Guidance for Transitions

The below is about planting a seed, I accept that it is likely it will not fall on fertile ground.

Morality is how we relate to the people we know, your family, your friends, your neighbours … ethics on the other hand is the true foundation of how we create a society … when we impose someone’s individual morality onto society, when someone projects their subjective personal beliefs onto a society, especially about something they know little or nothing about, it is about their ego, to make them selves feel superior, essentially self-aggrandisement … in doing so little by little we destroy society itself .. for the whole act of blame is about separation … about separating one person from another – for we must remember that condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

True love does not judge, nor does it have any expectations, it does not to say to someone, become this person and I will love you … or the corollary, if you change from this person; I won’t love you – but that is more of a Cathexis, a definition of surface or perhaps only conditional love.

How do we find a conscious love without distortions in it? Through knowledge and acceptance of self, and solitude … meditation. Without these, love gets mutated and distorted by the surface of life. If there is knowledge, acceptance and meditation, love evolves into devotion; it remains pure and then evolves into bliss, joy.

Disrespecting someone, judgement and ascribing fault, is used by the ego to separate us, like control, judgement, anger, competing, worry, guilt, conformity are all other non-present emotional ‘ego’ driven thoughts – like all fears when faced reveal their illusion and in doing so we find ourselves and our strengths.

Everyone has their gifts, everyone, and each one is equally valid gift from the Universe.

Everything that happens is essentially without expression, it is only in our beliefs where we ascribe a meaning, a duality to it, a right or wrong, good or bad etc., when beliefs become primary, it manifests through its own brand of particularism into a cult, there are cults everywhere from the private to even Public companies say Apple Inc and Tesla … all within are true believers, their lives are defined through the duality of their ideology, for instance Capitalism is the quintessential expression of duality (I.e profit / loss is good/bad) – within families, all experiences seems to be either good or bad, right or wrong, family or not – this evolves into a fear based “them and us mentality” a dismissal and disrespect for all that appears on the surface to be different.

There are really good and wonderful people in the world, the thing that separates us is awareness that they exist and our beliefs – no one has the right to define themselves as right and others wrong … for the majority of humanity, it is easier to judge than to think. To judge is to label & negate others and so dismiss (without revisiting) – true humanity and strengths is to feel with empathy, compassion and equanimity.

I cannot ascribe fault anymore for it leads to separation, in the higher self there are no certainties, things can only be viewed through probabilities.. for instance it is highly probable that the sun will rise tomorrow – the reality is that nothing is certain, change is continuous and everything ends, well not so much ends, for we are always in transition to ?

Happiness comes only in true Freedom, it comes from within, not from people things or circumstances – follow your personal bliss, challenges that will come are how we grow and we use them to break through the shells that encompass our understanding.

We see everything through the present moment, the past, is our personal perspective of our experiences (filtered through our beliefs and values) … The future is our expectations, our wishes … but this present moment is our only personal reality … these are the Buddha’s words, along with many spiritual leaders (including Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and others)

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help” – Thích Nhất Hanh

With union with the light, a spiritual realisation occurs – then it is the individual’s choice to integrate with the Higher self or not – for me it was a no-brainer … once you decide to integrate, The Grace of “God, the Universe, Brahmin, the Source – the higher self (call her what you will) starts to descend to us (over time) you gradually detach from the physical world, much of what you once valued in duality seems empty and illusionary because it is, your love becomes abundant, unconditional and conscious, you can feel life, every form of life within you from the greatest to the least – there is now only one choice, which is to love, to understand, to have compassion for all life, whatever its form.

Here is a book, the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma that helped me understand my personal journey to the light – perhaps it might help others on their journey, you can download an epub version – here

A difficult revelation of conditional “love” is the judgement, perhaps dis-respect , contempt or worse. Perhaps no one at home wrote in a simple act of compassion or empathy to think beyond themselves and their attachments and ask how you were … for me, I guess that is the true expression of the experience – their own brand of particularism.

It’s a given, that no one has the right to be purposefully cruel for any reason.

If you have many obstacles in your path … consider, perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you something –

“As a man himself sows, so he himself reaps; no man inherits the good or evil act of another man. The fruit is of the same quality as the action” – Mahabharata, xii.291.22

We are all accountable for our choices, as I have learnt personally – do not blame those you who hurt you, for they are only instruments of Karma – Karma holds us all accountable for our behaviour in particular our actions towards others – how she will choose to balance the scales for their actions towards you and other life forms, is not for you or others to speculate how this will be done.

I can feel only love and compassion for you all, if any truly wish non-judgemental spiritual help, then come find me … and we will work towards the light together, if your not up for that, no problem, find another, for when it is your turn you will journey to the light in this life or another, it is a journey we will all make. By staying attached to the illusions of this world, once can never be truly happy, because in being attached we are never truly free – and true happiness comes in freedom.

After a four year journey- I am done, you are on your own, except of course for the infinite love and power of the Universe that is within each of you, but as a last act, I am going to project my beliefs and say – I was chosen, like you … your perception was that I was the problem however I believe I was a solution – fear itself is the problem.

I am thinking of you all as I write these words … face your fears … they are paper tigers … empty illusions. Judgment and blame separates us … the desire to control others comes from ego and fear – controlling others controls you – instead stay present, be mindful and accept and flow … there is no way around pain or fear, the only way out is through.

Open your heart to those in need, do not make assumptions. You are not a judge, you are a coach, and in the future you may just be the guide that makes all the difference to someone else’s life.

There are only two main motivators in life, love and fear. Choose wisely!

October, 2015

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Writing a Healing Journal

Writing meditation is an exercise that I have used on many occasions – The purpose is to help direct our mind to change our behavior, by understanding the causality of that behaviour.

The way I have understood it is that any challenge we have undergone, in the past or even a current challenge is often not understood at a feeling level – because we are face to face with it.

Hence by writing we can forge a connection between the conscious mind and that part of our mind that houses feelings.  Now do correct me if I am wrong but feelings are placed in the mind in the mammalian brain, referred to as the Limbic system … its where feelings are, it where all decisions are made … so I have found by writing every day we gradually form a link between the feeling part of the mind and the rational mind … we convert the feelings into something we can understand … we have to do this as the Limbic system does not have language hence, we have to understand its messages another way …. gradual and regular journal writing did that for me, perhaps it can do it for you?

Gradually over time, we form a link between the parts of the brain and will understand that a frustration we might be feeling may be something like a past regret, a depression or some level of anxiousness about something in the future …the quickest way to start to understand this is to say …. if you are feeling depressed or shameful then the event you are thinking about occurred in the past. If you are feeling fearful or anxious then the event you are concerned about will occur in the future.

Many of the common feelings come from fear … control comes from fear, aggression comes from fear … even conformity is based on control which comes from fear, there can also be fear that non-conformity will hinder us in attaining their goals or being accepted  … Governments love it, but conformity is a pipe dream as it is quite unattainable.

Take a few minutes a day … find a quiet place and start writing …

I have found that after about a week of being quiet and writing, you will find yourself becoming more in tune with your feelings, you will become calmer … this can help with your day to day relationships —- My experience is that the changes in your understanding and behaviour will take place without any conscious effort, no matter how old, or what has happened in the past in the normal course of your life, writing a journal will literally calm and bring understanding to your life in just a matter of a few weeks.

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