Empower your healing

From time to time, we have thoughts that take us away from being mindful, away from the present moment. such thoughts could be sad, they could be reflections on a past loss, reflection of why’s, on the motives behind events in our lives, a myriad of thoughts including fears of “what if this happens” – most, if not all are inconsequential to the present moment.

Now I know that it is part of life, to be uncertain of what may come, for it makes us aware of all possibilities prior to acting, but when these thoughts are just fears or they severely influence us, they have the effect of closing us down, that along with past concerns can turn us inwards towards a victim mentality, for me this new way of looking at my thoughts came from a desire that these thoughts were not empowering me, hence I needed to understand more and find a way to heal myself.

I tried this quite a while ago, it did work for me …

Each time I receive a thought that takes me to an event in the past that for instance once made me depressed or upset, or others about the future, which naturally come from an uncertainty or a fear I would thank the thought. I know may appear counter-intuitive to thank what appears to be a thought that is based on say a fear, a response from your ego, but stay with me on this.

When the thought arrives, say about a past relationship, I said to myself ..

• Thank you. I know you love me and you want to help, and in generating this, you think you are!
• But Thanks, but I am totally fine, I have this, I have learnt from the past, (or I have no fear of the future), I want to go back to the present and what is real, where I can choose to create my life.
• Again, thanks for your help, I love you, please go when you wish.

Or variations on this “conversation” over time, bring a lightness, openness and optimism to your inner chatter, and what we create within is reflected in our outer behaviours, our confidence and strength.

For me, the positive effect was that these non-present thoughts came less and less … this strategy has the real benefit by taking one out of the victims mentality, your thoughts become empowering and positive … you break through boundaries .. you heal.

If you wish to, try it … if I can help, let me know!

Guidance for Transitions

The below is about planting a seed, I accept that it is likely it will not fall on fertile ground.

Morality is how we relate to the people we know, your family, your friends, your neighbours … ethics on the other hand is the true foundation of how we create a society … when we impose someone’s individual morality onto society, when someone projects their subjective personal beliefs onto a society, especially about something they know little or nothing about, it is about their ego, to make them selves feel superior, essentially self-aggrandisement … in doing so little by little we destroy society itself .. for the whole act of blame is about separation … about separating one person from another – for we must remember that condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

True love does not judge, nor does it have any expectations, it does not to say to someone, become this person and I will love you … or the corollary, if you change from this person; I won’t love you – but that is more of a Cathexis, a definition of surface or perhaps only conditional love.

How do we find a conscious love without distortions in it? Through knowledge and acceptance of self, and solitude … meditation. Without these, love gets mutated and distorted by the surface of life. If there is knowledge, acceptance and meditation, love evolves into devotion; it remains pure and then evolves into bliss, joy.

Disrespecting someone, judgement and ascribing fault, is used by the ego to separate us, like control, judgement, anger, competing, worry, guilt, conformity are all other non-present emotional ‘ego’ driven thoughts – like all fears when faced reveal their illusion and in doing so we find ourselves and our strengths.

Everyone has their gifts, everyone, and each one is equally valid gift from the Universe.

Everything that happens is essentially without expression, it is only in our beliefs where we ascribe a meaning, a duality to it, a right or wrong, good or bad etc., when beliefs become primary, it manifests through its own brand of particularism into a cult, there are cults everywhere from the private to even Public companies say Apple Inc and Tesla … all within are true believers, their lives are defined through the duality of their ideology, for instance Capitalism is the quintessential expression of duality (I.e profit / loss is good/bad) – within families, all experiences seems to be either good or bad, right or wrong, family or not – this evolves into a fear based “them and us mentality” a dismissal and disrespect for all that appears on the surface to be different.

There are really good and wonderful people in the world, the thing that separates us is awareness that they exist and our beliefs – no one has the right to define themselves as right and others wrong … for the majority of humanity, it is easier to judge than to think. To judge is to label & negate others and so dismiss (without revisiting) – true humanity and strengths is to feel with empathy, compassion and equanimity.

I cannot ascribe fault anymore for it leads to separation, in the higher self there are no certainties, things can only be viewed through probabilities.. for instance it is highly probable that the sun will rise tomorrow – the reality is that nothing is certain, change is continuous and everything ends, well not so much ends, for we are always in transition to ?

Happiness comes only in true Freedom, it comes from within, not from people things or circumstances – follow your personal bliss, challenges that will come are how we grow and we use them to break through the shells that encompass our understanding.

We see everything through the present moment, the past, is our personal perspective of our experiences (filtered through our beliefs and values) … The future is our expectations, our wishes … but this present moment is our only personal reality … these are the Buddha’s words, along with many spiritual leaders (including Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and others)

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help” – Thích Nhất Hanh

With union with the light, a spiritual realisation occurs – then it is the individual’s choice to integrate with the Higher self or not – for me it was a no-brainer … once you decide to integrate, The Grace of “God, the Universe, Brahmin, the Source – the higher self (call her what you will) starts to descend to us (over time) you gradually detach from the physical world, much of what you once valued in duality seems empty and illusionary because it is, your love becomes abundant, unconditional and conscious, you can feel life, every form of life within you from the greatest to the least – there is now only one choice, which is to love, to understand, to have compassion for all life, whatever its form.

Here is a book, the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma that helped me understand my personal journey to the light – perhaps it might help others on their journey, you can download an epub version – here

A difficult revelation of conditional “love” is the judgement, perhaps dis-respect , contempt or worse. Perhaps no one at home wrote in a simple act of compassion or empathy to think beyond themselves and their attachments and ask how you were … for me, I guess that is the true expression of the experience – their own brand of particularism.

It’s a given, that no one has the right to be purposefully cruel for any reason.

If you have many obstacles in your path … consider, perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you something –

“As a man himself sows, so he himself reaps; no man inherits the good or evil act of another man. The fruit is of the same quality as the action” – Mahabharata, xii.291.22

We are all accountable for our choices, as I have learnt personally – do not blame those you who hurt you, for they are only instruments of Karma – Karma holds us all accountable for our behaviour in particular our actions towards others – how she will choose to balance the scales for their actions towards you and other life forms, is not for you or others to speculate how this will be done.

I can feel only love and compassion for you all, if any truly wish non-judgemental spiritual help, then come find me … and we will work towards the light together, if your not up for that, no problem, find another, for when it is your turn you will journey to the light in this life or another, it is a journey we will all make. By staying attached to the illusions of this world, once can never be truly happy, because in being attached we are never truly free – and true happiness comes in freedom.

After a four year journey- I am done, you are on your own, except of course for the infinite love and power of the Universe that is within each of you, but as a last act, I am going to project my beliefs and say – I was chosen, like you … your perception was that I was the problem however I believe I was a solution – fear itself is the problem.

I am thinking of you all as I write these words … face your fears … they are paper tigers … empty illusions. Judgment and blame separates us … the desire to control others comes from ego and fear – controlling others controls you – instead stay present, be mindful and accept and flow … there is no way around pain or fear, the only way out is through.

Open your heart to those in need, do not make assumptions. You are not a judge, you are a coach, and in the future you may just be the guide that makes all the difference to someone else’s life.

There are only two main motivators in life, love and fear. Choose wisely!

October, 2015

Writing a Healing Journal

Writing meditation is an exercise that I have used on many occasions – The purpose is to help direct our mind to change our behavior, by understanding the causality of that behaviour.

The way I have understood it is that any challenge we have undergone, in the past or even a current challenge is often not understood at a feeling level – because we are face to face with it.

Hence by writing we can forge a connection between the conscious mind and that part of our mind that houses feelings.  Now do correct me if I am wrong but feelings are placed in the mind in the mammalian brain, referred to as the Limbic system … its where feelings are, it where all decisions are made … so I have found by writing every day we gradually form a link between the feeling part of the mind and the rational mind … we convert the feelings into something we can understand … we have to do this as the Limbic system does not have language hence, we have to understand its messages another way …. gradual and regular journal writing did that for me, perhaps it can do it for you?

Gradually over time, we form a link between the parts of the brain and will understand that a frustration we might be feeling may be something like a past regret, a depression or some level of anxiousness about something in the future …the quickest way to start to understand this is to say …. if you are feeling depressed or shameful then the event you are thinking about occurred in the past. If you are feeling fearful or anxious then the event you are concerned about will occur in the future.

Many of the common feelings come from fear … control comes from fear, aggression comes from fear … even conformity is based on control which comes from fear, there can also be fear that non-conformity will hinder us in attaining their goals or being accepted  … Governments love it, but conformity is a pipe dream as it is quite unattainable.

Take a few minutes a day … find a quiet place and start writing …

I have found that after about a week of being quiet and writing, you will find yourself becoming more in tune with your feelings, you will become calmer … this can help with your day to day relationships —- My experience is that the changes in your understanding and behaviour will take place without any conscious effort, no matter how old, or what has happened in the past in the normal course of your life, writing a journal will literally calm and bring understanding to your life in just a matter of a few weeks.

Connecting the Dots

I was thinking about Steve Jobs the other day and a quote of his came to my mind … it went like this

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward”

He is so right, many months ago, it was as if I was in a dark room, feeling my way forward, but I kept falling over stuff, the future that I had invested in was always out of reach … my brother did what only brothers can, and asked me to look at the dark room again, but differently this time.

I went into a familiar process that I had first completed some 20 years ago, it requires only commitment and absolute honestly – it is essential that we face our demons, for until we do, we project them onto the world, through our reactive unconscious acts, hurting those we love, and who love us … since this time, the second process has been completed (such that it can be or ever is), the fiction that fears are real was revealed and you move past them .. you are at a new plateau, just, so long as we stay aware and keep owning your weaknesses.

When one is within the darkness, one can only feel the pain, for that part of us has no way of communication through language … it takes time, it take commitment and courage .. we have to honour all those who go through the any recovery process.

It is wonderful  to feel  your family’s love, but what they cannot do is facilitate or enable you – they will withdraw from you –  to support you how they feel they can … it is as if they take you down to the dock for a long sea voyage … you can still feel their love .. but this is a journey we must take alone, in hindsight, part of connecting the dots, you learn lots of things about yourself, at the end, you accept and value yourself,  you make friends with yourself and also with your ego, to understand it better .. you learn that there is no pain when we are present, for then the ego has no place to hide – you take what you have learnt and over a period of months you let go of the past and bring only the learning into your life – Staying present develops further into acceptance of what is and the letting go of expectations, then one day and every day after, you are just grateful – you feel balanced and stronger, but most of all you are free. Frankly being truly free is a bit scary, but you try new things, people engage and you are on your way.  Suddenly if one must label one things, most of the time you are mindful – you bring a huge focus into your present, and you are careful of where you walk so you don’t tread on insects, you spend hours down by the beach, or in the woods, noticing every aspect of the web of life, the trees, the grass, the birds, the life abundance – it is as if you expand like a wave outwards into the world … it is intoxicating and yet so much more.

In this moment, I am content, life is interesting and productive –  you don’t judge, you love, you understand the behaviour of others, you feel real compassion and kindness for what they are going through, insights come, and it is good to engage and help others .. but the real outcome is that you know who you are, you need no one’s approval for you have your own, you engage more with the community and surprisingly you are detached even from your  own future ….   you flow with life as it comes into your present … you can still feel those you love, but it is as if you are travelling parallel paths, you wonder, will these paths ever converge?  I hope so, but I don’t know, for it is an event in the future, I can only know and engage with what life does bring, not what it might bring, but I know whatever happens, whatever path I walk, I am not fearful, for it will lead to my destiny!  For now at least, that is enough!

So much has happened, but I feel I am an early point …. what a journey there must be yet to come ….. I’m am up for it

Where I am right now, I doubt I will be directly addressing this introspective aspect of me again, well anytime soon that is … for I guess the time for definitive’s on any subject is well and truly gone.

I have a new list of subjects for blog posts coming up .. thanks for reading and if any are within such an experience as this, know it will be different for you, but flow with it, honestly and with courage, you too will come through.  If you need a sounding board, contact me, whatever happens in your life, I wish you Good Luck !

Tags: Owning+our+weaknesses, Connecting+the+dots, Recovery

Personal Transition and Transformation

There had been an awareness for some time of limiting thoughts and behaviours –  these are basically previous learned responses which had outlived their usefulness to the person I wish to be …. they were stopping me taking a leap … however the strange part is that I had the answer within me .. what I needed to do was repeat a process which I had carried out once before –  for when you think about it everything in life is a process, in this case to confront these behaviours which were now irrelevant to my life and renew myself … in a way to renounce who and what I was, and allow myself the freedom to introduce myself to what next evolution of me … the same process is available for everyone, from that awareness, we eventually come to the Acceptance that action is needed … then when we are ready we do take action.

Twenty years ago, I went through a period of intense personal change –  the process was built around and was integral to a very small team environment … looking back at the process now, the process was built on the original  12 step program .. this is a proven program, which has been going since 1935 … in my case I am not driven by the need to stop drinking, by by the need to use the 12 steps to bring around personal change … to change the way I react, to give me space to pause and reflect, so we consider the impact of our words and deeds on others, but also our own evolution … in other words to respond from strength, instead of reacting from weakness –   for me the outcome made me whole –  at this point in my evolution I am content, with me … however the work doesn’t stop there, it is a continual process of self assessment –  in this occasion , I knew it was time, as just before this time, I felt in a state of continual darkness, always feeling my way forward .. metaphorically falling over stuff .. this stuff was my past, my beliefs, my history, my limitations.

Now before we start … you need to be committed to this course of action without any reservation … if you are not committed, it won’t work .. because it can be a very confronting process –   but if you want your future to be different from you today … it is journey we must take ..  you might use the analogy that the process, is almost a low level reformat of the way we look at life … it is equivalent to a process of clean up and clean out assure you it works.

I went to a local AA meeting, just to feel the atmosphere .. to meet and talk to the people who had successfully come through the program .. a strength, a compassion, but an overall humbleness from everyone who had completed the program was all I felt … I went ahead with the steps in order, going through each until I was absolutely happy that I was totally committed to it –  strangely it was not as difficult as I imagined, for I had been ready for such a process since the beginning of 2013 … note: –  you have to want to do it .. I might add doesn’t magically rid your personality of these reactions to stimulus, what it does is that it makes you very aware of your personal triggers to make reactions and behaviours and allows you to confront them and once you have there is no fear,  there is just contentment, happiness, and love –  remember we all have these demons at sometime during our path, our journey.

My dream was to become less reactive to stimulus .. to be present in the moment, to forgive and forget the past hurts and failures .. to bring into the present only the learning. More than anything to live life mindfully, part of which means we need to stay present .. for that is the only place where anything is created … this also means letting go of expectations of love for others itself, to be open to real abundance through love –  for me, when I invest in expectations we are by the very nature, creating illusions as they haven’t happened yet, so we set ourselves up for disappointment.

It took me a while to write about this, as I completed most of the steps back in October 2013 … to have the support of your family is a big plus, but one thing is so true, this process is something we have to do for ourselves and by ourselves … for that is where change must come from … the commitment to the self, and to the future self …. Good Luck!

If you feel the need, from the awareness of self, look at the process, if you need any help … please write … I will help how I can.

 

Tags: Personal+Transformation, Personal+Transition

Change of Focus

 

It is easy, too easy to look at what is wrong with the world, and only see the negatives of life … but recently without any specific trigger I have chosen to focus on what is good (while being aware of the flip side) – many people from all works of life, are going about making the world a little better through simple acts of kindness … as with all of us we are on a journey … hopefully from Childhood through an unconscious states to an awakening of sorts and being conscious … of the beauty that is in the world and humanity …

The reason I considered this .. if we look at the things that are wrong, they are usually quite huge (Organisationally based) … however if we chose to focus on the good, side we can actually do something … so that works for me.

This whole change came at the right time for me … from a good friend, a spiritual person of long standing 🙂 Whilst there are huge problems in the world, coming from those in power, basically being unconscious I am finding again that focusing on the negative adds to my stress levels rather than making me creative, peaceful and loving … so I will concern myself with things I can contribute to … not to concern myself with things that I cannot have a direct input into – or put a lot of energy into.  Am I still concerned, about the things that are wrong, why Yes of course … Re-occupied with what is wrong? No, not any more – I am going to take my view of living life and apply it to things and circumstances outside of things where I can actually have an effect on …. perhaps we should simply say our prayers, along the lines of “May my life be of benefit to all beings, all life” – if you try to live by that simple thought, .  That alone, takes so much responsibility to guide our right thoughts and actions.

The Choices we make

I have just come to the conclusion that when I am old and perhaps sitting in my rocking chair on my verandah … reflecting on my my life to that point … I will look at the life that my choices have created and I will be content that I have given everything I had … I will understand that I did the best I could have done given the beliefs and expectations I had at the time.

There is nothing creative that can come from regrets … they are only good for wallowing in … take the learning of those experiences, integrate them with your life, and move forward, allow those lessons to change the future.

Don’t get me wrong … I have screwed up sometimes publicly, many times personally with my loved ones and family … but at the time I led with my feelings, sometimes they were fraught and scattered .. too often they were about me and my needs  … and not what they should have been … but like all of us … life is an inside job … we create the life we believe we should have, at any moment in our lives – this evolves in every moment.

That is why our past does not determine who we are now, or in anyway it has a relation to who we will become … give yourself a break … the future is yours to create in this moment … for me I don’t have goals as such (other than to help  who I can) … I believe in a living my life, based on a few basic truths and with my values … they will get me where I need to be.

What each of is focus on may be different for each of us .. that is your personal preference, each one is valid for you

For me these are my focus:

(1) each morning I get out of bed, looking forward to the day ahead and what it will bring to me .. what I will learn

(2) I know there is much I cannot do, but I can live my life in the best way for me … as well what I can do within my sphere of influence is to help who I can … who hopefully will pass that feeling onwards to others … I also know that looking at the enormity of what does need doing to make this a more loving world .. I can only help who I can … even if that is just one person

(3) Now, I think before I speak … knowing that what I say affects others .. trying to make everything I say improve on the silence .. because silence itself can be incredibly powerful.

(4) I seek to understand .. be curious all the time at everything and anything

(5) I like to walk, to exercise, I suppose it is part of my meditation .. the pure zen of it, the one step in front of the other …

(6) I like to nurture … to create .. to me that manifests in my life in the building and investing in relationships … most times these are not deep .. but some can be … whether they end up being sustainable … does not really matter … every experience and every person that comes into your life, teaches you something about you … and what you need to understand and let evolve.

Love everyone … for they are part of us … all life is … my parting gift would be trust yourself … look to your feelings for they know how you want to live your life … trust absolutely very few people in your life … for trust is the ultimate gift one gives to another … it is the foundation of all real, long term “life” relationships. For me in that regard … I have been very fortunate.

Comments would be welcome … what aspects of life are important to you ?

xxxx

Tags: Choices+create+our+lives, Life+choices, Life+focus

When you awaken

I wasn’t looking, and yet I found this … to me this has meaning !

Written by Ram Daas

When you awaken
You are no longer a Buddhist or a Hindu or a Christian or a Jew or a Moslem. 
You are love, you are truth.
And love and truth have no form.
They flow into forms.
But the word is never the same as that which the word connotes.
The word “God” is not God,
the word “Mother” is not Mother,
the word “Self” is not Self,
the word “moment” is not the moment.
All of these words are empty.
We’re playing at the level of intellect,
feeding that thing in us that keeps wanting to understand.
And here we are, all the words we’ve said are gone.

Where did they go?
Do you remember them all?
Empty, empty.
If you heard them, you are at this moment empty.
You’re ready for the next word.
And the word will go through you.
You don’t have to know anything: that’s what’s so funny about it.
You get so simple.
You’re empty.
You know nothing.
You simply are wisdom-
not becoming anything,
just being everything.

by

Ram Daas

Tags: Awaken, When+you+awaken

Where the White Man went Wrong

 

It really says it all ….

Tags: Where+the+white+man+went+wrong

TAO TEH CHUNG: 81

TAO TEH CHUNG

81

Sincere words are not sweet,
Sweet words are not sincere,
Good men are not argumentative,
The argumentative are not good,
The wise are not erudite,
The erudite are not wise.
The Sage does not take to hoarding,
The more he lives for others, the fuller is his life.
The more he gives, the more he abounds,
The Way of Heaven is to benefit, not to harm.
The Way of the Sage is to do his duty, not to strive with anyone.

These words were a help to me today … to understand a disconnect, a disappointment, perhaps even the beginning of an ending

Tags: TAO+TEH+CHUNG+81